Did Jesus Poop?

Jesus Prays

I was talking to someone who is on the borderline between acquaintance and friend. She mentioned an important personal fact as if I obviously already knew, which I did not. But I pretended that I knew and tried to piece together the the facts from the rest of our conversation. Afterwards the self-analyzing questions: “Why did she think I already knew? Why didn’t I just admit that I didn’t know and own up to my ignorance? What am I trying to protect by pretending to be so knowledgable?”

I decided to take these questions with me on my morning walk. During these meditative walks, I often invite God/Jesus to join me (although at times I listen to the chant “Om Nama Shivaya” for a Hindu-infused jaunt).

As I walked, I pondered how my view of Jesus might affect my response to my earlier behavior.  In popular Christianity, much focus is placed on Jesus’ compassion, wisdom, and divine/supernatural abilities. But the Gospels also present a fully human Jesus who gets mad, cries, and has problems with his biological family. Which Jesus was I calling on to gain perspective on my behavior?

This led me to the crucial theological question that dominated the rest of my morning walk: Did Jesus poop? Of course he did, but somehow that thought seems, well, “unChristian”. We have sanitized Jesus to the point of being non-human, and in so doing, we have lost any hope of becoming like him. If he’s only for veneration, then he’s of no use for transformation.

According to the Gospels, God said of Jesus, “This is my beloved with whom I’m well pleased.” If the Divine Essence can inhabit that biologically messy, emotional, limited human being known as Jesus…and be well-pleased, then shame, blame, judgement and self-judgement have met their match. That’s the heart of Christianity. The Divine Mystery looks at us, loves us, takes up residence in us, as us, in all our humanness, and is well-pleased.

While my walk didn’t yield a psychological cure-all that magically erased all my self-protective foibles, I did gain a deeper experience of Jesus that is proving to be just as therapeutic.  To experience Jesus is to experience that we imperfect beings are embraced at such a deep level that we cannot fail at life, cannot be a disappointment, cannot be anything other than loved.

Within such truly unconditional love, our masks and pretenses are acknowledged without push or pull. No need for judgment, angst-ridden self-analysis, or a $10,000 self-help course. We, like God, see the messy, human reality…and smile.

Did Jesus poop? Absolutely. And thank God he did.

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4 Responses to Did Jesus Poop?

  1. Ralph says:

    Did he ralph?

  2. Elmore Klutz says:

    Yes he did, but it was ice cream and he peed Kool-Aid and you Christians have been drinking that Kool-Aid for 2000 years.

    • scott says:

      Dear Elmore, I wish you well on your path, whatever that might be. Some find that the Jesus story and Spirit still have meaning for our daily paths in spite of the many nonsensical and horrific things that have been done in the name of Christ. I have found a deeper meaning in the life of Christ that is a universal message of letting go, dying to what needs to die, and then new life/potential on the other side. I also find meaning in the notions of self-sacrifice, facing one’s demons, and welcoming outcasts and marginalized persons. For me this is where the story of Jesus still lives. I know that for some the entire notion of Jesus has been so damaged by those who have claimed to follow him that they reject any usefulness whosoever in the Jesus story. At times I have felt that way myself. Yet, I find myself returning again and again to his teachings and to his story because they resonate with me. I know and thoroughly respect that this is not true for many others. Again, best wishes for you on whatever your path may be. May it be life-giving for you.

  3. Earl Ray says:

    OK. Let me just say this up-front. I’m fairly sure–I’m missing the point, of your lovely blog post. I know, I shouldn’t touch this ‘stinker,’ with a ten-foot-pole, but I just can’t resist the ‘temptation’ to blather-on until it’s brilliant.

    That being said…

    Per ‘your’ self-analysis. Some questions come ta mind.

    Did Jesus fart?
    Did he pee?
    Did Jesus masturbate? * ((even once?) just ta see what it was like))
    Did Jesus eat mud pies?
    Did he bite his fingernails?
    Was Jesus, gay or just sorta meterosexual? **
    Did he make merry, with Peter(also called Simon)? ***
    Did he marry, Mary Madelin? Or just fuck ‘er over?
    Did he walk and talk with Satan, in the desert?
    Did he favor figs for dessert, over a good, ‘high-fat mutton supper?’
    Did he prefer his coffee black, like his women?
    Did he eat green eggs and ham–in a boat–with a goat?

    And so many more…but I digress.

    What a can-o-worms, you’ve opened! The mind reels.

    Fun and games. My bad.

    * Oh man! Have I “spent” a lot-o-time and effort, working/thinking about this one. :}

    ** A portmanteau of metropolitan and heterosexual
    adjective Referring to a self-aware and often self-centred heterosexual man (noun) who is less troglodytic than the average heterosexual man, more concerned about his appearance and displays characteristics—love of art, culture and shopping—which are more typically seen in gay men

    *** “Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt his fisher’s coat unto him, (for he was naked,) and did cast himself into the sea.” –KJV

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