Surprised by My Own Unfolding

"I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding." John O'Donohue

Have you ever had one of those moments when everything came together into a singularity of bliss? It never lasts for long and evaporates as unexpectedly as it appears. Nonetheless, when those occasions unfold, they exude hope, a sense of purpose, and oodles of joy.

I had such an experience Saturday night. At the Chaplaincy Institute's monthly interfaith service, I (along with three classmates) had the honor of receiving my certificate of completion for the Interfaith Spiritual Direction program.  I also transferred my ordination to the Chaplaincy Institute's Interfaith Community. The community celebrated these milestones along with the announcement that I am now the Acting Director of Interfaith Community for the Chaplaincy Institute.

What a change! Over the past year or so, I felt despondent, discouraged and utterly confused. Where was my life going? What is my work? Where is my community? What the hell am I doing? So I waited. I noticed. As each next step appeared out of the fog, I took it, not knowing where it would lead.

When I first moved to California, Stephanie Warfield, a friend in Austin, e-introduced me to John Mabry, the Director of The Chaplaincy Institute's Interfaith Spiritual Direction program. While I have been a spiritual director for several years, I'd never completed a certificate program. The opportunity to do so while also learning about multiple faith traditions (included working with people of no faith tradition), excited me.

Then a fellow student in the program, Amy Hoyt, became the first person to transfer her existing ordination to The Chaplaincy Institute, which is not only a seminary, but also an interfaith community. When I left parish ministry 17 years ago, my ordination was eventually "inactivated" since I was not in a ministry setting with the denomination that ordained me. Reactivating my ordination had not been on my radar screen for some time. Next thing I knew, I was completing all the requirements to transfer my ordination to the Chaplaincy Institute. Now I am once again endorsed as "clergy in good standing".

Then Jim Larkin, the kind minister who shepherded me through that transfer process, announced that he was stepping down from his position as Director of Interfaith Community. I applied for the position, was hired, and started last Monday! I now feel at home in community and in my vocation.

This was no strategic, step-by-step plan. I did set my intentions (prayers) for the kind of work and community that I longed for. Then I kept my eyes open, noticing any subtle hints that emerged. I waited. I struggled. I kept returning to my intentions. I applied for jobs. I tried out various communities and groups. The desert stretched out before me in limitless, frustrating desiccation. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, streams converged to form this oasis.

Of course, I still have no idea how all of this will evolve. But, in this moment, I am filled with gratitude for how this life is unfolding. I feel supported by the Universe (God) and by so many loving people, including my friend Kathleen who gave me the ministerial "charge" (words of encouragement and blessing for the way forward), and especially by my partner Herb who put the stole on me during the service.

As you reflect on your life:

• What yearnings do you notice?
• How might you activate that yearning into an intention?
• What subtle hints, crumbs along the path, align with your intention?
• What is your best guess as to your next, single step forward?

Those moments of bliss, those times when life "comes together", are neither guaranteed nor permanent. They, are, however, more likely to be noticed and appreciated through an open heart, an open mind, and a willingness to be carried along by the surprising unfolding of life's river.

Harry Potter to the Rescue!

I had a dream last night in which I was Harry Potter. In the dream I surprise the rest of the students when I fly without a broom. I decide to no longer hide this ability. When a malevolent, Draco-like student threatens Hermione, I swoop in and whisk them both away to resolve the conflict. Meanwhile the other students and professors join ranks to protect Hogwarts. Their focus is to venerate the horcruxes because, left untended the horcruxes would give rise to the dark lord. Apologies to anyone reading this who is not a Harry Potter geek. Harry Potter is the young wizard who with his friend Hermione battles an evil wizard who has spun off parts of his soul into objects called horcruxes. As I sat with the dream this morning, I went deeper and deeper until I got to two core themes, or horcruxes, that needed attention (veneration) so that they don't lord it over me. Those themes are abandonment and shame.

When I mess up, some part of me fears I'll be  rejected because of the error (abandonment). Another part of me takes it in as further proof that I'm a bad person (shame). And one other part of me tries to avoid these feelings altogether by being defensive: blaming others for what happened, making reasonable excuses, overcompensating by trying to be hyper-good, etc.

What I take from the dream is a way to hold all of this: with vulnerability. Be vulnerable enough to admit my error. And be truthful: this mistake says nothing about who I am. I'm neither good nor bad. I'm a human being who is learning how to integrate his virtuous and non-virtuous tendencies. I also admit my tendency is to go straight to shame when I make an error. Acknowledging this horcrux makes it less likely to become my lord.

As I sat with the theme of abandonment, I thought of Jesus. His friends and followers abandoned him when their expectations were not met and when his life path became treacherous. Among his final words were: "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" Perhaps there is no fear greater than that of being abandoned. No wonder part of me wants to manipulate and finagle circumstances to avoid that possibility...or even the fear of it.

Yet as I sat with it, a deeper peace arose. Knowing that Jesus (and for that matter the rest of humanity) shares my experience, I no longer felt alone. When we lean into how vulnerable we are as individual human beings, we realize how alike and interconnected we are. Shared vulnerability dissolves isolation, the fear of abandonment, and the lie of shame.

Moreover, by paying attention to my own fear of abandonment, I felt cared for, honored, and accompanied…by myself. I no longer felt abandoned. I had shown up for myself and realized I would never be alone. I am with me. (I also sense that a Sacred Presence is with me to support this process.) I integrate those virtuous and non-virtuous parts of myself into one human being, neither hero nor villain, neither all good nor all bad. I'm simply human, vulnerable, a mixed bag of altruistic and selfish, wholesome and devious, just like everyone else.

The alchemy of vulnerability transmutes shame into self-acceptance, fear of abandonment into self-love, all of which then ripples outward to embrace every other flawed human being with a bit more compassion and openness. Some call this salvation. Others call it grace. I call it magic.

Blessed Are The Cheese Makers

In the Monty Python movie “Life of Brian”, Jesus is heard from a distance saying, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” People on the periphery of the crowd mangle Jesus' words. “What did he say?” 

“I think it was, ‘Blessed are the cheese makers’”. 

"What’s so special about the cheese makers?”

“Well, it’s not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturer of dairy products.”

Sounds like a theological conference where wisdom teachings are readily parsed into meaninglessness. What was Jesus really up to? Was he merely saying, "Cheer up. It gets better, if not in this life, then the next"?

I believe Jesus was inviting us into a series of paradoxes:

• Deep within our lives we already possess what we have been seeking.
• What we avoid and resist contains a seed of life that can blossom into what we yearn for most.
• Buried within the last place we'd think of looking (grief, lack, a hunger to make the world fairer, being opposed when taking a stand for a good cause) is where we find that we already have all we truly need.

I've tried my hand at crafting a new translation of Jesus' words from Matthew 5:1-12. They are often called "The Beatitudes", which literally means blessed, happy or fortunate. I prefer the word "grateful".

Look through the list below and see which human experience most resonates with your life now. Then lean into it.  What is the yearning or human need nestled at its core? How might the fulfillment of that need already be present in your life? (If the term "God" does not work for you, try substituting another term like "Life" or "Universal Love" into the sayings below.)

When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up a mountain. When he had sat down, his disciples came to him. He opened his mouth and began to teach them saying:

Grateful are those who don’t put on spiritual airs, for it’s much easier to get close to God when one’s ego is not in the way.

Grateful are those who have the courage to mourn, for in the epicenter of their grief they encounter a love that comforts them.

Grateful are those who don't act like the world revolves around them, for the whole earth becomes their next of kin.

Grateful are those who long and hunger for fairness, for their bellies are full of grace, which alone will satisfy.

Grateful are those who risk compassion, for their kindness will return to them many times over.

Grateful are those whose hearts have been scrubbed clean of narrow self-interest, for they see God everywhere.

Grateful are those who do the hard work of making peace, for they find the world is full of their brothers and sisters, all children of God.

Grateful are those who are oppressed for doing the right thing, for they feel a connection to God seldom experienced this side of heaven.

Be grateful even when you are insulted, oppressed, disrespected, and lied about because you have aligned yourself with me. Celebrate! Shout for joy! Everyone who takes a stand for something or Someone bigger than themselves receives the same treatment, but they also receive the same reward: the secret of eternal life.

Ordinary Miracles

What if what we perceive as ordinary is really a hologram containing the very essence of all that is? What if the Sacred beams just as brightly from below as from above? What will we see if we invert our sense of where light comes from? These are among the questions pondered in "The original light, blazing through your skull", which is an art installation currently on view in San Francisco at the Manresa Gallery. (See the video below.) According to artist Ali Naschke-Messing, her creation:

"...questions the traditional religious trope of light portrayed as descending from the heavens and creates an inverted conic form, inspired from the light that emanates from all life. The floating gold leaf fragments can be seen as coming from above and below, constantly turning and responding to air currents via breath and movement."

What light do you experience emanating from the various life forms around you? What is the nature of the "light" you emit? How might your movements and your breath be experienced as amazing phenomena? Watch the video. What questions and observations arise for you?

 [vimeography id="18"]

You Cannot Fail!

A little over two years ago I left Austin, Texas for a move out to my current home here in California. Before leaving I stopped by Austin Presbyterian Seminary to say good-bye to the students and staff who had been so supportive of the spiritual direction work I had done there over the years. What I remember most from that last visit was a brief talk with Jackie Saxon, the Vice President of Student Affairs. She asked how I was feeling about the move.

"I feel both excited and scared", I replied.

Jackie said, "Excitement and fear are two sides of the same coin. They go together. That shows your goal has heart and life. If you felt no fear, neither would you feel any excitement."

"You're right. I just don't feel like I know what I'm doing. I don't know if it's going to work out. I'm going where I feel led, but it all seems so uncertain."

Jackie took hold of my shoulders with a firm, yet compassionate grip, looked me in the eyes and said these words that still ring in my ears as prophetic truth: "Hear me. You cannot fail! It may not go as you have planned it, but that is not failure. Whatever happens is the bridge to your next adventure. You cannot fail!"

What would you do if you knew you could not fail? What would you attempt if you knew that even those inevitable missteps and sidesteps were all ok? What if what seems like failure (when things don't turn out as you hope and plan) is actually the bridge to your next adventure?

What if you could not fail? What adventure would you go on? What change would you make? Who might you become?

As we enter 2014, I encourage you to live as if you were enrolled in a school where there is no failure, only learning. The school is life, the curriculum is what is present in your life right now, and the Teacher is Spirit/God/The Universe, who is collaborating with you for your highest good and the well being of all concerned. With that understanding, what would be a wholehearted step forward for you, an adventure worthy of your precious energy? Knowing that you simply cannot fail, what will you do?

Do You Believe in Santa Claus?

If you ask a naïve child: “Do you believe in Santa Claus?” he replies “Yes!”

If you ask a bright child the same question, he replies “No!”

However if you ask an even brighter child, he replies “Yes!”

- - Ronald Rolheiser in Forgotten Among the Lilies - -

Not long ago, my partner and I had one of the worst moviegoing experiences of our lives. We went to see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. The movie itself was quite good. The audience, however, was atrocious.

Parents, who apparently had never uttered the word "no", brought throngs of ill-mannered adolescents who kawkawed through the entire movie like a murder of crows. As we entered the theater, two of them ran up from behind us and attempted to shove us out of the way in order to get prime seats. (My outstretched leg halted their progress.) The gossipers seated behind us provided a cacophonous secondary soundtrack, and with one exception, none of these urchins every said "please" or "excuse me" during their repeated foot-trampling escapades in and out of our row. By the time the movie was over, we were eager to enter the whole lot of them into a Hunger Games lottery.

We were particularly eager to see this movie because we had enjoyed reading the trilogy. In our heads we had conjured a complex, virtual reality of characters, districts, the topography of the games, the ambience of the capitol…a vibrant and fluid mental landscape inspired by the books. If we had seen the movie first, our imagination would have been narrowed to the vision of the film's director.

This struck me as an analogy for the spiritual path. We start off taking things literally as we have been spoon fed them. We naively believe in a literal Santa Claus. This is fine as the starting point in which we first learn the stories, but eventually we have to throw off this limited literalism that denies the reality in which we live (or we become rigid fundamentalists). Eventually, we no longer believe.

Then, at some point, if we are lucky, we realize there is a deeper truth beneath these stories, myths, scriptures and dogmas. It's not the stories themselves which were important, but the Ultimate Reality to which they point, which is, after all, a Mystery. While we may no longer believe that a rotund philanthropist trespasses across the threshold of every household and is then whisked away by airborne caribou, we do start to believe in the spirit of generosity, altruism, good cheer and kindness. We can once again say with integrity that we do believe in Santa Claus.

What it requires is that we release those "film interpretations" that narrow our perspective without losing The Story itself. We read both sacred texts and the sacred scriptures of our own lives side by side. Imagination sparks. Hope inspires. Compassion exudes. Otherwise, we've missed the point. Even the Christmas story itself needs to pass through this dialectic of belief, unbelief, and then deeper belief that rhymes with the holy experience of our own lives.

Perhaps if those adolescents at the movie still believed in a literal Santa Claus, we could have threatened them with lumps of coal for Christmas. While Santa won't literally shaft them with lumps of coal, I do believe it will happen in a deeper sense. Soon enough the smartphone or Wii given at Christmas will seem like a lump of coal when it is tossed aside as obsolete.

We all get to the point where life feels like a bag full of charcoal briquettes. In those moments will we keep grasping for new toys to distract us? More lumps of coal in the making? Or will we choose to believe in and embrace the Essence of Christmas…a human heart broken open by compassion…awe-filled eyes that see the Sacred Presence everywhere…satiated gratitude for the simple goodness of being alive...in this body...here and now.

Do you believe?

Frozen Chosen

After months of lovingly coaxing our adolescent plants toward mature vitality, we have met our match. Jack Frost has come with unexpected fury to Northern California. The mulch pathway is a concrete tundra. Ice crystals encrust leaves like minuscule toxic parasites. Citrus fruit, approaching peak ripeness, is now fit only for the compost pile. Perennials that were grasping for the sun only a week ago are now a black, drooping mess of frozen protoplasm. It's discouraging. It makes me wonder if the divine feels the same way about religious communities around the world. Tended through millennia of revelations, incarnations and evolutionary progress, we still seem frigid and immature.  One Christian denomination is even sarcastically referred to as "The Frozen Chosen". It must be quite discouraging.

Part of the reason for this limp spirituality is that we have little depth. (Matthew 13:6) We get just enough spirituality or religion to inoculate us from the real thing. We get a taste of the divine, of the Essence of the Universe, and then we march on with our lives feeling quite content with ourselves, rooted in nothing deeper than our own egos.

We adore the words but don't catch the Spirit underneath them. We luxuriate in the religious rituals, but we never move on to the One to whom they point. We are like small children who are more excited by the wrapping paper than the present itself.

What's needed is a little less religion and a little more spiritual practice. As Barbara Brown Taylor writes:

“The whole purpose of the Bible, it seems to me, is to convince people to set the written word down in order to become living words in the world for God’s sake. For me, this willing conversion of ink back to blood is the full substance of faith.” Leaving Church: A Memoir of Faith

The "full substance of faith" is to make the ideas of religion concrete. Less talk. More action. Less piety. More gritty willingness to engage life as it is…with compassion. Only then will sacred ink become living blood and the Word become flesh. (John 1:14).

This cold spell will give way to warmth. Eventually Jack Frost will return north. What will we discover when the ground thaws? Those plants with sufficient depth will revive. May the Sacred Gardener discover that we too have sufficient root, flower and bear delectable fruit.

Imprints

Above is a photo I took during my morning meditation walk. Below is a haiku inspired by the photo. Please share a haiku that comes to you as you view the photo. (A traditional haiku is 3 lines: 5 syllables, 7 syllables and 5 syllables.)

Shadowy imprints

From fallen leaves after their

Brief time in the sun.

A Hanukkah Reflection

Tomorrow is the first day of Hanukkah, which literally means "dedication" and which celebrates a rededication of the temple in Jerusalem during which time, as the story goes, one day's worth of oil kept the lights on for eight days. What universal messages might Hanukkah hold, whether or not we practice Judaism? Here are a few thoughts:

• On the other side of persistent, necessary effort is a victory that comes with no effort. Our term for that is "a miracle".
• Hope requires the willingness to be surprised. When I lose my willingness to be surprised, hope has little room to operate. Clinging to a predetermined outcome erects walls that limit visibility and possibility.
• Light, however, can enter where there is an opening, a crack in the walls I have erected. Am I willing to be cracked open and not be so secure and defended? Am I willing to let light in without knowing what inner shadowlands it will reveal or which path forward it will light? Am I willing for my heart to open so wide that light can enter from unexpected angles, from people I dislike or dismiss, from situation and feelings I want to avoid?
• Am I willing to release control so that God can take the shards of my heart and fashion them into a new heart that beats with unstoppable compassion? Am I willing to have a stout heart, a courage, that is not afraid to face a fragmented world and call it back into wholeness? Am I willing to dedicate my every moment to keeping that heart open at all costs?
• God, I am willing. And I am frightened. May the Light prevail in me.

Your Holiday Movie Previews! (With a Few Twists)

As we approach the end of the year, Hollywood is poised to release several blockbusters featuring household names in starring roles. While you may be familiar with the movie titles, you might not be familiar with the plots. So, below is a brief synopsis of three prominent upcoming films: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - Katniss Everdeen, an obscure woman representing her district (brilliantly performed by newcomer Wendy Davis) rises to become a household name almost overnight. She ignites a firestorm when she dares to defy the Capitol's heavy-handed cabal (portrayed by the lusciously malevolent David Dewhurst and the Texas Legislature), who ruthlessly suppress any opposition as their authoritarian power structure begins to crumble.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - Bilbo Baggins, a diminutive Hobbit (portrayed by the small in stature but large in spirit Robert Reich) attempts to cajole and inspire a bumbling gang of infighting dwarves (the Democratic Party), in a quest to reclaim their lost homeland. Bilbo is in possession of a dangerous yet powerful ring (a.k.a. Truth-Telling) and leads an effort to save Middle Earth (the Middle Class) from its impending demise by facing down Orcs (the Republican Party) and, in this sequel, the dragon Smaug (voiced by Ted Cruz), which Tolkein described as "a most specially greedy, strong and wicked worm."

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues - A narcissistic, misogynistic anchorman stuck in the 1970's (played flawlessly by Bill O'Reilly) gains a vast national audience on a cable news network, where with the help of his cohorts (played by Sean Hannity, Chris Wallace, Karl Rove and a host of over-the-top character actors), he makes a mockery of journalism and distracts the public from honest debate with news that is anything but fair and balanced.

There Be Whales Here!

On Veterans Day I fulfilled a long-time dream thanks to a gift certificate from my partner Herb. (Thank you Honey!) My body trembled with awe and tears came to my eyes as two humpback whales came within ten feet…so close I could smell their fishy breath. (See the video below.) The cruise with SF Bay Whale Watching (highly recommended) started from San Francisco and went under the Golden Gate Bridge to the Farallon Islands and then past the continental shelf at which point the whales appeared. This is the end of the season to see Humpback Whales in the Bay Area. Any day now they will make their migration to warmer waters. So, there was a distinct possibility that we'd see no whales at all.

Once we got past the continental shelf, the first dorsal fin was sighted just off the starboard bow…an Orca! Then another Orca! A few moments later off both starboard and port, blowholes spouted ocean water and air…Humpback Whales! 2, 4, 6, 8…too many to count...whales appeared in every direction. We were surrounded!

The Orcas soon swam out of sight, perhaps pursuing a distant floating raft of sea lions. Then two humpbacks began circling the boat. Having seen these humans float by day after day, the humpbacks decided to take a closer look before heading south for the winter. Suddenly the tourists had become the tourist attraction!

For the sake of the whales' wellbeing, ships are not allowed to come within 100 yards, unless, of course, the whales decide to come to the ship. Then the only thing to do is wait, watch, and marvel until they decide to leave. The humpbacks, a male and female, about 45 feet long and 40 feet long respectively, circled our boat to their delight and ours for over half an hour. As the captain said, it was truly an epic day of whale watching.

A few fun factoids about Humpback Whales:

• Humpbacks can eat upwards of 1.5 tons of food a day, mostly krill and small fish, which they slurp up with a mouthful of ocean water, which is then filtered out through two rows of baleen plates, leaving a mouthful of delectable seafood. 
• The life expectancy of Humpbacks whales is about 50 years. Unfortunately, they are an endangered species. Only about 30% of their original population remains.
• Humpbacks sing complex songs that last up to 20 minutes and can be heard 20 miles away. Males repeat these songs for hours on end. Each population of Humpbacks has its own unique song. Scientists are not certain how humpbacks are able to sing. They have no vocal chords. While singing, their mouths do not move, and air does not leave their bodies.
• They are acrobatic and can breach their 40-ton bodies completely out of the water.

[vimeography id="13"]

The Cross of Being Human

What meaning does the symbol of the cross or crucifix still hold, including for those who may not identify themselves as Christian? Does it have anything of value to offer in today's world? I purchased this crucifix shown in the photo while visiting Paris in 2002. On the back is a sticker which reads "Fabrication Francaise". Whenever I look at it, I not only think of the universal meaning of the crucifix but also of the particular place where I found this version of the symbol.

It occurs to me that this paradox of a symbol being both unique and universal is telling us something about what it means to be human. On the one hand, we are more than our egos. When I find myself grasping, resisting, ungrateful, indignant or just plain pissed off at the world, I realize it's time to let go into Something Larger.

I have found Buddhism particularly helpful at such times with its notion of not taking the personal self so personally because even the person we identify with as "myself" is a constantly morphing fabrication of the ego. What is essential is Spirit, Buddha mind, Christ consciousness, Ground of Being, or whatever name you choose to give that Source which animates us and into which we release when this life ends. When caught up in self-pity, self-entitlement, or self-preoccupation, it is into the vast web of Everything-ness that I release (eventually and often after much kicking and cussing).

On the other hand, there is a "me" present in this moment, a unique expression of that Source that will never be repeated. I have passions, insights, talents, desires, flaws and dreams that no other being will ever embody in this combination.

This part is actually harder for me to live. I can more readily surrender into the Light of Being than I can see my particularly wavelength of color in the Light. It is easier for me to chock things up to Mystery and sit with an uncomfortable unknowing than it is to for me to know and act on what is true for me as this one-of-a-kind human being. My deep fear is that I may not be loved or liked when I fully unfurl my hues and tints. Yet without an intimate knowing and passionate expression of who I am, my life is muted and gray. The Light of the World is also diminished, refracting one less color.

This is the cross of being human. One aspect of me is always grateful, irrevocably loved, and, on a deep heart level, belongs to everyone and everything. In that space there is no separation and no fear. Another part of me is defined, has boundaries and has places of belonging and not belonging. It is that space of Oneness, Love and Wholeness that I have the courage to express my uniqueness that may or may not jive with the uniqueness of others.

We are both divine (or Life Essence) in a way that can never be separate or defined from any other part of life. And we are also separate, defined, colorful, individual expressions of the divine. Both are true. The beams of the cross itself, one vertical and one horizontal, symbolize this intersection of the eternal and the temporary. Jesus Christ represents the conscious embodiment of this intersection, this meeting of the holy and the ordinary at the crossroads of humanity. The cross of being human is to live both fully.

A Fox Terrier Halloween

Most dogs despise being dressed up in costumes in order to amuse their human companions. What our canine friends tolerate from us deserves ample treats and affection. Our dog Cowboy is an exception. As you can see from the above photo taken a couple of years ago at Halloween, he loves to be dressed up in costumes…Halloween, Christmas…whatever the season he's eager to be festooned with festive apparel. Why? Because costumes mean attention, and the only thing more important to Cowboy than being the center of human attention is ensuring that no other pet in the house receives a moment of the attention that rightly belongs only to him.

We've come to discover that Cowboy is not alone in his costume fetish. In fact, his breed, the Fox Terrier (Winner of 13 Best in Show titles at the Westminster Dog Show...Cowboy would have you know that is far more than any other breed, thank you!), seems to be particularly fond of wearing silly clothing. Check out the video link below of another Fox Terrier in costume. I hope it makes you laugh as much as it made us laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouIK8a0tMwc

Happy Halloween, Samhain, All Saints Day, All Souls Day, Reformation Day and Dia de los Muertos!

Do You Hate Samaritans?

Do you hate Samaritans? If not, one of Jesus' most famous teachings, The Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), won't work as intended. The leverage point of the parable is that Jesus' hearers despised their northern Samaritan neighbors, and to have one as the hero of the story was shocking. The purpose of such parables is to turn everything upside down and inside out. In fact, Jesus' subversive goal is to disorient our entire world view so that we can reorient to the mind of Christ, the mind which sees beyond the confines of naked self interest.

"His [Jesus’] whole mission can fundamentally be seen as trying to push, tease, shock and wheedle people beyond the 'limited analytic intellect' of their egoic operating system into the 'vast realm of mind' where they will discover the resources they need to live in fearlessness, coherence and compassion – or in other words, as true human beings."        Cynthia Bourgeault in Wisdom Jesus, p. 37

Jesus spoke the parable in response to a lawyer who asked for an iron-clad definition of who qualifies as a neighbor. Unless you hate Samaritans, however, Jesus' response is unlikely to evoke its intended visceral reaction, which is necessary to short-circuit the egoic mind. So, what's a non-hater of Samaritans to do? If I may be so bold to suggest, we can try to update the characters so that they push our buttons and push us beyond our normal thinking. Here's my update of the story:

An African-American gay activist leaves a local bar late one Saturday night. A couple of skinheads beat him and leave him for dead. A couple of regular churchgoers see the beating and take a step closer until one of the perpetrators wields a weapon, and they wisely run for safety. A few moments later, an overworked Latina social worker hears the man moaning in the dark alley and assumes it’s one of the city’s countless homeless whom she spends virtually every waking moment assisting. On this, her one free night a month from the responsibility of work and children, she simply has not the energy to deal with it and walks on by. A few moments later, Former Vice President Dick Cheney, in town for a political fundraiser, passes by and catches sight of the man out of the corner of his eye. He orders his driver to stop. He and the driver get out and take the man to Cheney’s personal physician who always travels with him. Dick Cheney provides the gay African-American activist, who has no health insurance, with all the financial and medical support he needs to heal and get back to work with the proviso that the man tell no one who has helped him.

What reaction do you notice in your gut? This is my take on updating the story. How would you modify it to create a visceral reaction so that you get the parable and so that it gets to you?

Trickle-Up Economics

As we await the winter rains here in Northern California, I've been paying attention to the early morning chorus of sprinkler systems in our neighborhood. Like a carefully choreographed game of "whack-a-mole", sprinkler heads peak above ground, disperse water and then return to their subterranean lair. Unfortunately, this type of system sends water up toward the ether where much of it evaporates rather sending water directly into the soil to soak the roots of flora with life-giving liquid. This inefficient top-down watering system is an apt metaphor for "Trickle-Down Economics", which has been the prevailing economic theory for the past thirty years. [Warning: This is not an economic treatise and thus should not be used in lieu of your normal sleep medication.]  The essence of Trickle-Down Economics is the belief that when the richest Americans have the lowest possible effect tax rates, much lower than that of the rest of the population, they, in turn, will create jobs that raise the economic status of everyone else.

It sounds reasonable. Unfortunately, it hasn't work as advertised.  Here are a few sobering statistics:

• If wages had kept up with increased productivity since the 1970's, then someone making $40,000 today would be making over $62,000. 
• Only Russia, Ukraine and Lebanon have worse income inequality than the U.S., and the likelihood of upward economic mobility in this country is about the same as in Pakistan (slightly worse than Singapore and slightly better than China).
• The wealthiest 400 Americans have as much wealth as 80 million families combined (62% of the population).
• Since 1980 American GDP has about doubled. While wages are stagnant (or even declining) when adjusted for inflation, the stock market has increased its value by over ten times with 93% of that wealth residing in the hands of the richest 20% of Americans.
• For more information and supporting data, check out www.inequality.is or Robert Reich's new documentary "Inequality for All".

Essentially what we have in this country is "Trickle-Up Economics". The rich get richer, and everyone else treads water or sinks. Over the past few decades, the wealthy few have become exorbitantly wealthy, while the rest of the country has seen wages stagnate or decline (when adjusted for inflation). The result is that millions of ordinary folks have less available income to buy stuff, and that demand for goods and services is what drives the economy and creates jobs. No matter how much he loves to be warm and cuddly, there are only so many Snuggies that Bill Gates is going to buy.

What's bizarre is that the rich would likely fare better in a more equitable economic system by having a smaller share of an ever-growing pie as opposed to a larger share of a stagnant or shrinking pie. As the middle class thrived, they would purchase goods and services from companies owned by the rich, thus not only increasing profits for the wealthy but also providing more capital to hire more workers for decent jobs rather than the McJobs typically created in this wimpy recovery. I'm not advocating communism but rather a somewhat higher tax rate on the rich so that the budget is not balanced on the backs of the squeezed/shrinking middle class and the poor so that they (we), in turn, can heat up the economy.

What's perhaps most startling about Trickle-Down Economics is its unholy alliance with organized Christianity. Despite the clear solidarity of Jesus with the poor (Luke 4:16-19, Luke 6:20-21, Matthew 25:34-36, Luke 14:12-14, Luke 12:16-21, Matthew 19:24, etc.), not to mention passages in the Hebrew scriptures lambasting the wealthy establishment for its treatment of the poor (Psalm 109:16, Proverbs 14:31, Proverbs 28:3 and innumerable examples among the prophets such as Ezekiel 22:26-29), in many Christian circles, God has morphed into a monocle-with-top-hat capitalist who advocates for a totally unregulated free market, no matter how that impacts the most vulnerable.

Former President Jimmy Carter recently weighed in on this unseemly mangling of sacred scripture to support a trickle-up economic system, when he said, "If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor - then stop saying that you want a country based on Christian values, because you don't." Amen, Mr. President. Amen.

Passion, Passion, Passion!

This is a photo of our passiflora loefgrenii, also know as the garlic passion fruit, which is known for its otherworldly beauty, lusciously hued petals and fruit with a translucent pulp that is proven to ward off vampires with hints of garlic midst the sweetness. Geeky gardeners like us are quite smitten with this rare perennial vine from Brazil. What are you passionate about? Faced with insurmountable mountains of work that never reach completion, intractable geopolitical crises seemingly beyond our ability to impact, and the exhausting challenges of mere day to day survival, it's easy for our passion to wilt. Yet without that spark, responsibilities become burdens and generosity degrades into resentment. So how do we reclaim our passion?

I recommend a blast from the past. Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī (or just Rumi to those of us who feel like old friends through his unsurpassed Sufi poetry) injected an unstoppable torrent of vivacity into ordinary script. His urgent plea was for everyone to connect with the divine essence beyond words. Yet even that is a limp description of his charismatic fervor. He urged us to forsake everything that does not drip, saturate and overflow with the Beloved juice that makes the universe run.

What's required to do so? Merely a single-minded dedication to pursue it wholeheartedly, and in the process discover that the heart...and everything else...becomes whole. That dedication says an emphatic "no" to extraneous wastes of energy (fool's gold) and "yes" to all that vibrates with the fierceness of being alive (pure gold). It's not about forsaking responsibilities but rediscovering them from a gut-emanating, all-embracing compassion. It is consciously living from our most root Essence until we are once again swept up in the passion of existence itself.

Whether you find that passion in your partner's smile, busting a dance move, singing off-key with every fiber of your being in the car, or exuberantly cultivating a passion flower, the invitation is always toward more life, more expression, more of the real stuff that makes everything else worthwhile. As Rumi said in a poem translated by the nearly-always-spontaneously-combusting Andrew Harvey:

Passion burns down every branch of exhaustion.


Passion is the supreme alchemical elixir, and renews all things.


No-one can grow exhausted when passion is born,


so don’t sigh heavily, your brows bleak with boredom and cynicism and despair—


look for passion! passion! passion! passion!



Futile solutions deceive the force of passion.


They are banded to extort money through lies.


Marshy and stagnant water is no cure for thirst.


No matter how limpid and delicious it might look,


it will only stop and prevent you from looking for fresh rivers


that could feed and make flourish a hundred gardens,


just as each piece of false gold prevents you 


from recognizing real gold and where to find it.



False gold will only cut your feet and bind your wings, 


saying “I will remove your difficulties”


when in fact it is only dregs and defeat in the robes of victory.


So run, my friends, run fast and furious from all false solutions.


Let divine passion triumph, and rebirth you in yourself.

P.S. Happy Birthday Rumi! Last week was your 806 birthday, and you never looked so good!

Mismatched Shoes

Yes, I did it. I was in such a rush to get out the door for an appointment that I put on two shoes that did not match. About a block away from my destination I realized what I had done...too late to turn back. We all had a good laugh when I arrived. [Yes, prepare the meds and set up my psych exam.} Sometimes, however, a mismatch is exactly what is needed. In many spiritual circles, we only dance with sweet qualities: love, peace and joy. God (the LIfe Source), however, is varied and diverse, encompassing a full range of energies.

In Muslim and Sufi communities, a list of 99 names for the divine provides endless opportunities for reflection. In the Sufi tradition, these names are divided into two categories: Jamal and Jalal. Jamal are names which relate to beauty, that is, they have a feminine sense of warmth and loveliness. These qualities include compassion, mercy, forgiveness and love. Jalal refers to those qualities related to majesty, which have more of a masculine feel. These qualities include power, independence, advocacy, and justice.

In the midst of these 99 divine qualities are some that are mystifying and off putting: "The Restrainer", "The Humiliator", "The Reckoner", and "The Distressor". We could chock these strange divine names up to the influence of patriarchal waters that have washed over our great religions. That's too easy. Part of the purpose of such a list is to normalize our human experience by finding in the divine every aspect of the psyche.

These qualities, especially the ones that repel us, are worthy of contemplation and cultivation in order to be well-balanced human beings. For what is the purpose of reflecting on the divine if not to become more divine-like ourselves? Each of us at times needs more restraint or humility. There are moments when we need to call up that divine anger when someone's harmful behavior requires a reckoning. Even distress has its place. An old adage says that Jesus came to "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable". Causing distress for the privileged is the first step toward justice and equality. For every beautiful/lovely shoe, there is by necessity a corresponding, seemingly mismatched shoe of majesty/justice.

The key, of course, is to know which quality, which shoe, is appropriate in each moment. If we only step with one foot, we don't move much. [Case in point...Washington, D.C....For most of his two terms, President Obama has focused on the qualities of gathering/relenting. Republicans have displayed firmness. To make progress, each needs to try on the quality displayed by the other.]

So how do we discern which quality is appropriate for the moment? Which do we overemphasize or underemphasize? Which quality does the divine yearn for us to put on? More and more I'm relying on my body to tell me. When my feet, my stomach and my jaw feel open, free, loose and buzzing with energy, then I sense that I'm embodying the appropriate choice for the moment: whether that be the bliss of compassion or the clarity of anger. When I feel constricted, devoid of life, or about to burst with frustration, that's a cue that a different quality is necessary.

Where is Aliveness in this moment? Step, walk, run after it! Whether or not your shoes match makes no difference. It may well be the mismatched pair that brings you closest to the divine and sets you on the truer path you've longed for all these years of forced marching.

Mother Moose

I arose before dawn one morning last week in Grand Teton National Park to take a photo of the sun's first rays painting a pastel swath across the mountains. A terry cloth robe of cottony clouds, however, cloaked the mountains. So...no brilliant landscape photo was to be had.  I looked below the horizon and saw a mother moose and her calf enjoying a pre-dawn breakfast. (See the video below.) Moose, the largest member of the deer family, are herbivores and ruminants who eat up to 50 pounds of food a day. The name "moose" means "twig eater" in the Algonquian language (a Native American tribe). [Side note: What an odd language we have! The plural of goose is geese. So why aren't a pair of moose called meese? For that matter if the plurals of mouse and louse are mice and lice, shouldn't more than one spouse be spice?]

The quest for vegan vittles takes moose underwater to forage on aquatic plants, which are particularly attractive because of the high sodium content of water plants. Moose prize these salty treats so much that they have been known to dive underwater as deep as 18 feet for a snack. These excellent swimmers can also run up to 35 miles per hour.

A calf will stay with a cow, mother moose, for a year until the next newborn comes along. Then a calf must fend for itself. The cow in the video is preparing her offspring for the harsh winter. With mother moose's protection, guidance and good fortune, the calf should be ready for independence come next spring. As I eavesdropped on this mother/child breakfast, the mountain photo no longer seemed quite so important.

[vimeography id="17"]

Mr. Chawbridge and the Duesenberg

I had a dream last night. My partner Herb and I were at my grandparents' house. A man whom I had never seen before, Mr. Chawbridge, was on a riding lawn mower cutting the grass. Apparently he had been doing this ever since my grandmother's death in 1985. We chatted awhile. He asked about a car in his garage, a "Duesenberry", which belonged to my father. He implied that he'd like to have it as payment for mowing the grass all these years. That seemed fair, but I also wanted to find out the value of "Duesenberry" before giving it to him. Upon waking I started playing around with the dream. For one thing, I wanted to know what  a "Duesenberry" was. The classic luxury car was a Duesenberg. Duesenberry was an American economist who posited that poor people spend a higher percentage of their income on goods/services (the consumption economy) than do wealthier people, and even when their lot improves they continue to spend at a higher rate. Thus, according to his theory, improving the financial standing of the poor gives the overall economy a boost.

I also reflected on my grandparents, whose house always felt like home. I went there every day after school and spent most of my summers there. Dogs. Gardens. Building birdhouses. Amazing food. Board games. The memories are sweet and many. I knew I was loved and accepted there fully and unconditionally.

What about "Chawbridge"? Chaw... to chew. What was I chewing on? What was chewing on me? How was chewing or being chewed on a bridge forward? And what did this have to do with Duesenberg/Duesenberry or my grandparents? Or was all this just a meaningless response to our restless cat who was keeping me awake part of the night?

Dreams unfold one layer after another, deepening over time. One layer is that I'm returning to a safe place and am recovering my sense of happiness...ease...that it's all good...that I'm good. What had been chewing on me was a nagging sense that I'm not very worthwhile, in fact, that life itself is not good enough.

The bridge forward is sinking my teeth into how I felt when with my grandparents. They embraced every atom of my being. Around them I felt and still feel wealthy. LIfe's abundance, all that really matters, is in me, around me and overflowing. I am so full I can give without fear or resentment simply because it's who I am and how I want to be...and because I have so much excess joy, what else is there to do but share it?

The universe is generous. My grandparents were generous. I too am generous, or at least I cross a bridge into generosity when I practice gratitude...Gratitude for my talents, my joys, my unique ways of being magnificent and human, my flaws that on occasion prove useful, the blessings of people and animals who have touched my life, and for the Presence of a Mysterious Intelligence that communicates through winks, dreams, meows, and root beer floats shared with my grandfather on a hot summer day.

What have you been dreaming?

Savior? Job Filled. No Need to Apply.

By the time you read this, our congressional leaders may have already endorsed the president's plan to bomb Syria in retaliation for a chemical weapons attack. I have been trying to understand the reasoning behind this decision. Is it to save face after the president drew "a red line" that must not be crossed? Is it to send a violent message to any who would use chemical weapons because we feel helpless to stop them and simply don't know what else to do? Is it because our foreign policy has devolved into a knee-jerk response to shoot first and ask questions later? Perhaps it's a bit of all the above. At a deeper level, I think it reveals a blind spot in the American psyche. We seem to view ourselves as morally, spiritually, and politically superior to the rest of the world. As such, we can rationalize virtually any action in the name of our principles, even when our actions violate those principles.This has been the case since the founding of our nation when our sense of manifest destiny justified genocide of the people native to this continent.  A self-appointed savior can always justify demonic behavior.

Of course, this is not unique to us. Violent jihadists, for example, mar the name of Islam in the supposed defense of Islam. But let's keep the focus on our own house. It's neither our place nor within our power to be the world's sheriff/savior. Have you ever tried to fix someone? How did that go? What makes us think it works any better on a global scale?

Vietnam. Afghanistan. Iraq. Decades of covert CIA operations to overthrow governments and assassinate leaders. Our intention to make things right often goes terribly wrong. Our bombs seem to create enemies faster than we can eliminate them. We say we are making the world safe for democracy. As our surgical strikes kill children and spouses ("collateral damage"), grieving souls must wonder who will keep them safe from democracy.

It's easier to fire missiles (real or metaphorical) and pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, than it is to build consensus, fumble through ineffective action until effective action becomes clear, and admit that we are just as clueless and vulnerable as the rest of the world.  It's called humility, but it doesn't sell well on Election Day or jibe with our American "can do" spirit.

What does sell is distraction. Being savior of another person or of the world is often a distraction from neglected inner work. How many times have I helped someone, not out of kindness, but to mask my own sense of unworthiness? How many times has our nation lashed out in righteous anger while ignoring our own unrighteousness? Where's our indignation about an economic recovery comprised of cellar-paying McJobs as corporate honchos rake in record profits? Where's the moral outrage about our eroding civil liberties? Where's the call to arms to fix a dysfunctional social services system that is failing the most vulnerable in our midst?

Yes, America has done much good in the world. And, yes, violence is necessary...on very rare occasions...when there truly is no other option..as our reluctant, humble and sober choice.

So as the drumbeat quickens for more violence in the name of peace and compassion, I'm reminded of a Biblical self-righteous, self-appointed savior who was marching on Syria to make the world safe for God and God's followers. His name was Saul, later renamed Paul. Here's how he tells the story of his aborted crusade:

“While I was on my way and approaching Damascus, about noon a great light from heaven suddenly shone about me. I fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to me, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?’ I answered, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ Then he said to me, ‘I am Jesus of Nazareth whom you are persecuting.’" (Acts 22)

Saul saw the light. When will we?